“You speak of the Mother.”
“If that is the name you choose.” The woman smiled. “You are trapped in a vortex. Time and again, you will repeat your fate dutifully. If we cannot change fate itself and save our world.”
The woman stepped away from the case. Barefoot, she didn’t make a sound as she floated over to Vhalla. Closer now, Vhalla could no longer deny the red glint to Vi’s eyes.
“Let me see you,” she whispered.
Vhalla was transfixed, helpless to do anything more than let the woman lower her hood. The woman’s face held an odd sort of longing tinted with sorrow.
“You are younger than I expected, and so much weight on your shoulders, future Empress.”
“I will be the Empress?” Vhalla jumped at the first definitive thing she’d heard in the Firebearer’s words.
“You will be.” The woman stepped away. “I told you then, you would find what you sought.”
“But I never sought—”
“You sought him,” the woman interrupted with a sudden intensity. “You knew who he was and what his title meant. You knew, even if you didn’t admit it to yourself; you knew what being with him would lead to. And now you have him.”
“I know all this already.” Vhalla was desperate for her to return to whatever comments she had on the future.
“Tell me, was the sacrifice worth it?” The woman once more folded her hands and leaned against the counter.
“Sacrifice?” Vhalla could think of a good many sacrifices, but she wasn’t about to let them roll off her tongue freely.
“The sacrifice of this world.”
“No, I didn’t—”
“For him, you hesitated in eradicating your magic when it was first born. For his defense, for his Empire, you took the axe, the last of the crystal weapons, and returned it to its birthplace. When you could have remained hidden, you sought answers to his truths. You cast aside the night’s shroud and dreams of home to stand on a sunlit stage.”
“No . . .” Vhalla’s heart was beginning to race. “No, I-I thought I was doing the right thing. Not just for him, but for everyone. I didn’t know. You should have told me all this before.”
“I did.” The ghost of a smile haunted the woman’s cheeks.
“No, yes, no!” Vhalla shook her head in frustration.
“Not in so many words,” Vi relented. “But the language of the Gods is hard to translate into mortal tongue. I did my best for you.”
“If I had known—”
“You wouldn’t have done anything differently.” Now there was a heavy sorrow in the woman’s voice. “I know that now. I have seen the vortex of fate clearly.”
“That’s not true,” Vhalla insisted.
The woman paused and passed judgment on Vhalla for a handful of minutes. “You were drawn by a man who ran the Black Tower, just as Aldrik was. You were taken to the caverns, just as he was. You were used to open a gate, just as he was. You were raised without a mother, just as he was. Pushed to battle, just as he was.
“In many ways, just as his father was before him.”
“You lie.”
“Your mother was forced to watch her mother live in hiding, be persecuted and face the threat of judgment, or worse.” Vhalla’s fairly recent discoveries about her childhood added extra gravity to the woman’s words. “Your mother saw the same future in you.”
“You don’t know any of this,” Vhalla said stiffly.
“Just as I did not know the first words he ever spoke to you?” The woman arched a dark eyebrow.
“Who are you?” Vhalla’s voice was beginning to rise.
“I am the one who is about to offer you a choice. A choice that will change everything and set into motion that which can break the vortex.” Vi had finally reached her point. “Tell me, Vhalla, with what you can see in your limited view, how will a child of the Emperor grow?”
“What?” She didn’t even realize the palm that had instinctually covered her lower abdomen.
“Think.”
Vhalla’s eyes widened as the woman’s words finally hit home. She had lived without her mother. Aldrik had lived without his. If the woman’s implications were to be believed, then his father had lived without at least one of his parents. In light of recent information, Vhalla was forced to wonder about the exact details of why her mother had lived without her grandmother.
“No.” Vhalla had seen the briefest glimpse of the vortex the woman spoke of. The spinning fate that had trapped her and everyone she loved within it. She stumbled over to Vi, grabbing the woman’s warm hand. “Tell me this is not the truth you see in the flames!” Vhalla didn’t plead for her own mortality, but at the thought of leaving Aldrik and a child she had never met.
“Do you want me to lie?” the woman’s voice was a cool contrast to her skin. “I will not lie to you, but I will offer you a choice.”
“A choice?” she repeated numbly, a strange tingling surrounding Vhalla’s body, starting from the woman’s fingertips.
“If you leave now, you will remain trapped. You and all you know and love will continue onward, time and time again, forever. Fate has grown too hungry, and it will never have its fill.”
“Or . . .?” Vhalla braced herself.
“Or you build a new fate.” The woman reached into the wide sash wrapped around her waist. She pulled on a silver chain, producing a familiar plain pocket watch. “Regain your powers as a Windwalker and be the crux by which balance can be restored to this world.”
“Is that . . .” Had she made an unintentional vessel all those months ago? “Of cour—” Vhalla stopped herself, changing her words. “Yes, I want to build a new fate.”
The woman pulled the watch away, snapping it into her palm when Vhalla reached for it. “I told you, fate is hungry, and it must have its due. You cannot gain a future without sacrificing the one that lies before you.”
“What must I do?”
“You choose if you will be the Empress this world needs. If you will sacrifice your future upon the altar of fate, before the eyes of Gods and men. If you will become an Empress that can save this world. If you will enter into a pact with me to ensure that the vortex is finally quieted.” Vi watched Vhalla’s reaction carefully with her glittering, dangerous eyes. “Buy time, with time.”
A hand clasped around Aldrik’s watch, knowing instantly what the woman wanted.
“Do you think if you give it to regain your magic, he will vanish from your side?” She gave a thin smile.
“Will he?” Vhalla pressured.
“No more insights; I cannot afford it. You have your choices: leave as you are and be trapped in the vortex that threatens to consume this world. Or give that which is most precious to you, the future you carry, for something far greater than you or I.”
Vhalla’s whole body trembled. She wanted to leave. Every inch of her screamed for her to run back to the bed she should have never left. She wanted to pretend she had never heard Vi’s words. Vhalla urged her mind to pretend that the woman was no more than a hoax.
But her heart knew. Even if her mind could not comprehend everything that was happening, Vhalla knew somewhere deep within her soul that what Vi said was true. She ached at the sight of the watch, at the thought of her magic once more.
“Let me come back,” Vhalla attempted. She wanted Aldrik; she wanted to at least discuss it all with him.
“No. The next time you come you will not find me. There is only one more time I can come to you.”
“So I’ll make my decision the next time we meet.” It was foolish, but Vhalla would be the hopeful fool.
“Choose now. It must be your choice alone.”
Vhalla couldn’t handle the woman’s eyes as her hands began to move. She couldn’t bear a witness on what she was about to do. Vhalla’s fingers closed around the clasp of the watch that she had hardly removed since Aldrik had promised his future with it.
“Tell me o
ne thing.” Vhalla paused, just shy of handing over Aldrik’s token. Vhalla remembered the princess’s words, that it was a vessel holding his magic. “This will not be used to hurt Aldrik, will it?”
“I did not use this to hurt you.” Vi twisted her hand and dangled the watch with two fingers. “I could have sold this at a great price to the man who sits on the Southern throne.”
Vhalla looked down at the watch Aldrik had given her, unable to argue. Its once polished surface was scratched and beginning to tarnish from never-ending wear, but she loved it more now than the first day he had given it to her. Aldrik had said he had made the watch at the Crossroads. There was a dark poetry to losing it here as well.
With a trembling hand, Vhalla held out her most precious possession.
Just like that, it was gone. Vhalla looked on as the Firebearer curled her fingers around Aldrik’s gift. The thing he had put so much love into was gone. She had given it up.
Vhalla looked at the blank watch in her hand. It was a clean slate, perfect and unblemished. She had traded Aldrik’s gift for power. Was she any better than Victor?
The flame extinguished, and Vhalla’s head snapped back up, startled. The darkness pressed upon her, pushing at her chest.
“V-Vi?” Vhalla took a step backward to where she knew the door to be. “I-I changed my mind. I can’t give it up.”
Silence was her only reply.
“Please, I didn’t.” Vhalla’s neck already felt barren. “I don’t want to lose that. I’ve lost so much, not that. Our Bond is gone; the watch is the only part of him that I can carry with me.”
The darkness was oppressive, setting her ears to ringing. Vhalla clutched the blank watch tightly in her palm. A chill swept through the room, and Vhalla no longer felt that she was alone. The hair-raising feeling of being watched set her on edge.
Vhalla turned and fled as fast as her feet would carry her.
Stumbling into the street, Vhalla looked back frantically, with the feeling that something terrible was about to pursue her. The moon stared down at her, time continuing as normal. Vhalla felt dizzy and sick, looking back into the perfect blackness of the shop.
Her feet felt like lead. Her brain swam in her skull, and the world swayed. Vhalla struggled back to the hotel as fast as she could go. She was certain she was going to be sick. Just when another step was going to be too much, Vhalla was plunged into the bright light of the lobby.
“My lady!” The woman behind the desk blinked in confusion, startled to her feet. “What are you doing out? Are you all right?”
“I-I, yes.” Vhalla raised the back of her fist to her head, the watch still clasped within. She was clammy and cold. “I just need to lie down . . .”
The woman nodded but was clearly biting her tongue at the state of the Empress. Vhalla gripped at her shirt above her stomach. She hurt all through her middle, a strange and growing agony. Vhalla looked upward. She would feel better once she was with Aldrik once more. Once she could pretend everything that had just happened wasn’t real for a few hours longer.
Vhalla’s foot slipped on a step, and she fell with a cry. Something shattered within her as she hit the stairs. Vhalla hardly registered the woman rushing to her side.
“I will go fetch the Emperor.”
Vhalla forced her eyes open through the pain, staring at the watch in her hand. A wave of nausea hit, and Vhalla swallowed hard. “No. G-get Lady Ci’Dan. I need Elecia.”
The woman was off and running, leaving Vhalla to struggle to catch her breath alone. Wrapping her arms around her middle, Vhalla curled into a ball. Something was very, very wrong.
“Vhalla?” Elecia’s voice quickly cast aside the groggy tones of sleep as she knelt down before her. “What are you doing at this hour?”
“Help me,” Vhalla beseeched the Groundbreaker, one of the best clerics in the world.
“Come.” Elecia took one look at Vhalla’s sweat-dotted brow and began helping her up the stairs.
“Should I fetch a cleric?” the desk woman called.
“I am a cleric,” Elecia snapped back. “Not a word of this to anyone.”
The curly-haired woman practically carried Vhalla up two flights of stairs to her own room on the third floor. She gingerly helped Vhalla over to one of her chaises, easing her down before shutting the door. Another round of pain jolted through her, and Vhalla was once more doubled over.
“I don’t know.” Vhalla grimaced. “I don’t know, but it hurts.”
“Let me look at you.” The woman pulled Vhalla’s arms away from her abdomen, taking both her hands in hers. Elecia blinked her eyes and began looking from top to bottom with magic sight. “Why are you even awake at this hour? I thought you—”
Elecia’s eyes stopped on her abdomen.
The woman was a flurry of movement and offered no explanation as she dragged Vhalla into the bathroom. She tore at the ties of Vhalla’s cloak, pulling it off. Looking at her reflection, Vhalla could see what Elecia had seen moments early with her magic. Blood glistened darkly on the fabric covering the insides of her legs.
One fate sacrificed for another.
Vhalla gave an uncontrolled cry and collapsed in on herself.
CHAPTER 15
“Vhalla, come, we need to get you cleaned up.” Elecia’s hands were on her trembling arms, hoisting Vhalla back to her feet. There was a clinical force to the other woman’s voice as she shut out every other emotion but the drive to act as a healer.
One of Vhalla’s hands clutched the watch so tightly her whole hand was white, blood pooling by her nails. The other hand covered her mouth, muffling the sobs that racked her body at the realization of what she’d unknowingly done. Another lightning pain jolted through her abdomen, and she was leaning against the counter as Elecia began to draw a bath.
“I can’t believe you both were so stupid. I trusted that you were being careful. That one of you would come to me if you needed Elixir of the Moon. I assumed Jax was getting it for you,” Elecia rambled. She began rummaging through various supplies before returning to Vhalla. The other woman’s hands registered on Vhalla’s bare skin as Vhalla was helped out of her clothes.
“Listen,” Elecia’s voice dramatically softened. “It’s all right. It will be all right. I can help lessen the pain, make it pass faster. This happens to more women than you know. I’ve seen it a lot, and, really, try thinking of this as a kindness from the Mother. The Goddess is looking out for you. The child would have grown up like Aldrik if you’d carried it to term, under speculations of being a bastard.”
Tears streamed off Vhalla’s cheeks, pooling on the floor. The child would’ve grown up like Aldrik, a kindness from the Mother; the words whirled in Vhalla’s head faster than a twister. As impossible as it was, there was a greater force within the world that Vhalla had seen a glimpse of in that curiosity shop. It was beyond comprehension, and it had traded her fate. No, it hadn’t traded her fate. This had been Vhalla’s choice. She wanted to scream or vomit, and the combination gave birth to nothing but silence and clotted blood.
“In the water with you now.”
“I-I can wash myself,” Vhalla fumbled over her words. She didn’t want any more of a witness to her shame. She wanted to be alone, to dunk her head beneath the water and muffle the world.
“No.” The edge had returned to Elecia’s tone. “I am not leaving you alone right now.”
Vhalla tried to help Elecia, but her hands shook too hard to do much of anything. She felt raw. Like she had just been reshaped by the maker Herself.
“What’s this?” Elecia asked, bringing Vhalla back to the present by tapping on her fist.
“It’s . . .” Vhalla didn’t have an explanation other than the impossible truth. “It’s a vessel of my magic.”
“What?” The other woman looked at her as though Vhalla had gone insane. “No, that’s—” The words froze in Elecia’s mouth as she blinked at the token in Vhalla’s palm. “By the Mo
ther, where did you get this?”
By the Mother, indeed . . . Could there be another explanation for what had transpired? “I traded for it.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” Elecia sighed. “Later.”
The other woman allowed Vhalla to keep the token while she finished bathing and drying her. Vhalla tried to help, to a point. But she felt too tired and numb to care.
Pulling her back into the attached bedroom, Elecia put two layers of cloth atop the bedsheets. Vhalla lay down as instructed. Her abdomen and back ached in a manner she had never quite felt before.
“I’m going to get Aldrik.” Elecia started for the door.
“No!” Vhalla sat up instantly, hissing in pain at the sudden movement. She had no explanation for Aldrik yet; she needed more time. She needed some kind of glue to piece together the shattered reality first. “Don’t tell him yet.”
“What?” Elecia stalked over back to the bed. “You mean to tell me he didn’t know?”
Vhalla could only shake her head.
“What did you both think when you stopped having your monthly bleed?”
“It had gone away on the march North,” Vhalla tried to explain. “I thought it the same. We hadn’t been eating well, and all the travel, strain . . .”
Elecia pinched the bridge of her nose with a heavy sigh. It wasn’t an illogical leap, and the woman couldn’t immediately refute it. When she opened her mouth to speak, she was cut off by a banging at the door.
“Elecia!” Aldrik was barely keeping his volume under a shout. “By the Mother, open the door.”
“ ‘Cia, are you there?” Fritz called also. “Is Vhalla?”
Elecia looked between the outer door and the bed.
“Don’t—” Vhalla pleaded.
“I’m sorry.” Elecia actually looked it. “But you will appreciate this later.”